Frog

My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.

Until I threw a watermelon in her face.

I: "Get a boomerang."

Type: "Why?"

Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.

The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."

The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."

The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."

The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"

The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.

Putin's Brain:

You call, I'm putting on.

Frank (34) DJ.