Schlechte Witze
Fedderwardergroden
"Kinder, tut mir echt leid, aber der Sommerurlaub auf Malle wird wohl nichts. Wie hieß denn noch der Ort, wo ihr vor 20 Jahren im Watt gespielt habt?"
"F e d d e r w a r d e r g r o d e n, nicht wirklich!"
Ein Gorilla geht zum Tierarzt. Sagt der Arzt: "Wo brennt's denn?"
Sagt der Gorilla: "Ich habe den Tripper aufgelesen."
"Von wem?"
"Von deiner Mudda!"
"Meine Mutter ist keine Affenfickerin!"
"Wer sagte denn was von ficken? Sie hat ein gebrauchtes Tampon ins Affengehege geworfen und ich dachte, es sei eine Pommes Fritte mit Ketchup!"
Intensivstation
Aus Platzgründen lagen wir mit zwei Männern und zwei Frauen im Zimmer auf der Intensivstation.
Frau: "Ich habe heute Nacht von einem Eimer voller Penisse geträumt."
Ich: "...und, war meiner auch dabei?"
Frau: "Der lag ganz oben und war der Schönste!"
Ich: "...habe heute Nacht auch von Pussys geträumt."
Frau: "...und, war meine auch dabei?"
Ich: "Ja klar, da stand der Eimer drin!"
Hallo, ich bin Umberto und hier, um Ihre Tochter abzuschleppen.
"Um was?"
Um-berto! :)
Ha, hallo, Verbindung Rest!
Wie nennt man einen menschlichen Schlumpf?
Blaumacher. 😂
God help - we're infected.
"Ihr könnt nichts leisten. Ich bin reich, ihr Loser!"
Diamanten
Ich habe unsere Diamanten während der Corona-Krise in der Zuckertüte versteckt.
Die hat meine Frau gestern entsorgt, weil sie auf Diät ist.
Die Diamanten kommen aber morgen wieder, ich habe raffinierten Zucker genommen.
Ein Mann mit Alzheimer vergisst, dass er keine Beine hat und kann wieder sprechen.
Sagt ein Clownfisch: "Hi!" Wo? Wo fragt der andere Fisch.
Jetzt kommt zur diesjährigen Corona-Grippe auch noch feuchtes Grippewetter dazu, wir sind alle verloren - das ist die tödlichste aller Klimakatastrophen.
And the hole of the sun-corona sends the cosmic wisdom by it's rays through our ozone hole just into the empty heads of the rulers on earth so that their coronary arteries get cramps. Let's stay in bed for the rest of our days, the mankind is lost. Holy Gods, I've the cold and sniff already but no handkerchief at home. Must go outside and participate in that masked ball, also infect with this kind of madness. That's the evidence - it's too late to save the herd of human monkeys. No doubt, the end will come quickly.
Was mögen die Frauen von meinen Ex-Freunden Mohammed gerne? Genau, Mini-Wiener Würstchen!
Wie heißt der Zauberspruch gegen Espresso-ähnliche Dementoren?
ESSPRESO PATRONUM!
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner.
Ich kann mir schon denken, was das Unwort des Jahres 2020 wird. Fängt mit C an.
Was rief der Dreijährige beim Banküberfall?
Her mit der Knete!
Alle Witze hier sind extrem Kacke!
Was ist am Teich und ist rot?
Ein Frosch mit Sonnenbrand! 🤣
Geld
Also, nochmals zur Klarstellung!
Während der Corona-Krise geht kein Geld verloren...
...es wird nur umverteilt.
Die Wirtschaftsweisen