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Ban

Jana an Weihnachten: "Last Christmas, I gave you annoyed." "And the very next day, I was banned." "This year, I'm making an account." "And then get banned again."

Corona-Krise

Pressekonferenz

Reporter: "Herr Präsident, sind Sie sicher, dass Sie durch die Corona-Krise wiedergewählt werden?"

Trump: "Ich bin sicher, dass ich wieder der nächste Präsident bin, keine Frage."

Reporter: "Was macht Sie da so sicher, Herr Präsident?"

Trump: "Basierend auf der Sterberate liegen die Demokraten vorne."

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    • Corona Virus

    Reporter: "Mr. President, what are you going to do next against the Corona-Virus?"

    Trump: "We are launching DEFCON 3."

    Reporter: "What does this mean for the United States, Mr. President?"

    Trump: "The ventilators are equipped with a coin slot."

    Corona

    Santa tell me, if you really care! Don't make me hope again this year, that Corona will be here next year, 2021!

    Memes

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    Ex

    Roses are red, You are my ex, You want me back, Well... Thank you, next!

    Stunde

    Wenn "Germanys Next Schlafmodel" gesucht wird, schlägt meine große Stunde!

    Fernsehen

    Deine Mutter ist so fett, wenn sie sich bei Germany's Next Topmodel bewirbt, wird sie zu Germany's Next Fettmodel verschoben!

    Skiurlaub

    American: "I'll go skiing to Australia next year!"

    Austrians: *about to start the next world war*

    Nobelpreis

    A brand new piece of information from the Longwave Transmitter Motala (189 Khz), Sweden: "Greta Thunberg will receive the next "Nobel Prize in Physics" in 2023! The reason why is, she found a dimmer against the solar wind on her sailing trip on a lonely island! Now the earth is forever protected from overheating!"

    Uwe Schmidt, Neubrandenburg

    Weihnachten

    Was singen Pensionierte an Weihnachten?

    Last Christmas, I gave you my dog, but the very next day I shit on your head.

    Memes

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    Community

    All the people having fun And the children playing in the sun But I can't help but f*** it all up So there is a party next friday? I can't WAIT to be there and SLAY I destroy the fun make it fade away I am everywhere I am so powerful I spread over large areas I will conquer you I want to be everywhere I see So there is a party tomorrow? I can't WAIT to be there and SLAY I destroy the fun make it fade away I am everywhere I am so powerful I spread over large areas Everywhere and every day There is no escape from me

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