solution
Reporter: "Mr. President, how did you solve the Corona crisis, so quickly?"
Trump: "Classic, with hand grenades, as always."
Wie nennt man einen Schwarzen, der über eine Million weiße Freunde hat?
Mr President.
Interview mit Donald Trump: "Mr. President, stimmt es, dass Dummheit und Ignoranz typisch amerikanische Eigenschaften sind?" - Daruf Trump: "Ich weiß es nicht, und ehrlich gesagt, es interessiert mich auch nicht!"
Terminator ---------------- Reporter: "Mr. President, is it true that a terminator does not get a corona virus?"
Trump: "Yes, we have already ordered 330 million."
Der Bundespräsident ist zum Staatsbesuch in London. Er trifft die Queen und darf mit einer Kutsche durch die britische Hauptstadt fahren. Plötzlich hebt eines der Pferde den Schweif und furzt. Es beginnt tierisch zu stinken.
Der Queen ist das ziemlich peinlich, weshalb sie sagt: "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. President!"
Antwortet dieser: "Ach, das macht doch nichts, Eure Hoheit. Und ich habe erst gedacht, es sei das Pferd gewesen."
Female
Reporter: "Mr. President, why is the Corona Virus making us so difficult? ”
Trump: "Corona is female. We cannot grab the virus by the eggs. "
Press conference: ----------------------------- Reporter: "Mr. President, what are the rules after the end of the corona crisis."
Trump: "After Corona, there are no rules anymore. Buy a 45 magnum. It will be the Wild Wild West "
press conference ---------------------------
Reporter: “Mr. President, the people are depressed by the corona virus. What do you intend to do? "
Trump: "We will treat the people with nitrous oxide!"
DEFCON
Reporter: "Mr. President, what are you going to do next against the Corona-Virus? "
Trump: "We are launching DEFCON 3.
Reporter: "What does this mean for the United States, Mr. President?"
Trump: "The ventilators are equipped with a coin slot."
Excuse me, Mr. President ...
... what do we do with CORONA now?
"First PEPSI then POPSI"
press conference
Reporter: "Mr. President, are you sure that you will be re-elected by the Corona crisis?"
Trump: "I'm sure I'm the next president again, no question.
Reporter: "What makes you so sure there, Mr. President?"
Trump: "Based on the death rate, the Democrats are ahead."
WAHL IN AMERIKA
Hillary Clinton gegen Donald Trump. Es ist ein heißes Kopf-an-Kopf Rennen. Immer mehr Bundesstaaten fallen an die Republikaner und Trump gewinnt die Wahl.
Im Wahlbüro des neuen Präsidenten: Immer mehr Gratulations-Telegramme und E-Mails kommen aus der ganzen Welt: England, Deutschland, Frankreich, Brasilien, China ...
Schließlich fragt Trump seinen Sekretär: "Hat Moskau schon geschrieben?"
Antwortet der Sekretär: "Mr. President, die Russen haben schon gestern gratuliert."
USA - Corona --------------------- Reporter: "Sorry Mr. President, we have too few masks"
Trump: "I've already called ZORRO."
Reporter: "Mr. President, what's your plan "
Trump: "The healthy immediately go to Area 51 and all shops are closed ...... ... ..After 4 weeks we return and normal life continues."
Reporter: "What should people live on afterwards?"
Trump: "So, I bought AMAZON shares."
A Reflection from far away.
GET DOWN, MR. PRESIDENT.
Bill Gates passes the prototype of a "mind-reading-toilet" to Donald Trump so he can rule america without circumstances. Trump examines the latest thing an pisses. The "mind-read-loo" autamtically twitters: "I piss on China". Trump is exited and farts: the "mind-read-loo" sends automatcally e-mails to built a great wall and sends Mexico instantly the bills. He shits and a computer generated voice says: "Mr. President. You entered the password "THE_GREATEST_BULLSHIT_EVER!" to N.O.R.A.D. The nuclear intercontinental ballistic missiles start in 3...2...1...launch.... Tank you for using the "mind-read-loo" and have a nice day.
