Deine Mudda kommt in dein Zimmer und fragt, wieso schaust du dir ein Video von ApoRed an.
Du: Der Link war auf PornHub.
Deine Mudda: Gut, aber das nächste Mal glaube ich dir das nicht mehr.
On-Witze
Ich bin on, und David off.
Geht eine Mistgabel in eine Bar.
"Habt ihr auch einen Getränkeautomaten?"
"Nein, wieso? Bestell doch, was du Hurensohn!"
"Na gut, ich nehme einen Gin Tonic on ice :3"
"Man, fick dich doch einfach, du Wimmel!"
"Okay, wie teuer ist der denn?"
"Ja, wir haben nur noch Pommes."
"Warum hast du so ein langes Gesicht?"
Yo Mama is so fat, she is a map on Call of Duty.
Kommt ein Aramäer zu Sebastian.
Aramäer: Heu, ich bin's Petrus von....
Sebastian: Ähm, tschuldige, von wo nochmal? Habs akustisch nicht verstanden.
Aramäer: Ähm, ich weiß gar nicht, hehe, bin n' Dummi.
Sebastian: Tell me something where you come from?
Oh soryy you can't answer these questions, because you're dummi without a country. For sure I think your own house is your boat on the see.
Lieblingslied eines Hirntoten?
My Heart Will Go On.
Deine Mutter ist so dumm, sie stellt sich auf das W-LAN Kabel und denkt, sie wäre online!
It's a beautiful day outside, brids are singing, flowers are blooming, on days like these, kids like you should be burning in hell.
Zwei Schüler hängen in Schwabing ab. Aus einer Wirtschaft dröhnt „We ́re on the highway to hell“.
„Geil. Corona-Party. Voll verboten, oder?“
„Nee. Neues Söder-Law. Musst nur deinen Namen schreiben.“
Sie schauen durch die Scheiben. Die Kellnerin bringt Bier. Es wird wild getanzt und gesungen.
„Scheiße. Und diese Aerosole? Wegen denen fällt doch die Schule aus. Jetzt geht die Schule bestimmt auch voll los!“
„Cool, Alter. Mit Söder erst zur Wiesn.“
„Geil. Aber check ich nicht.“
„Ist total logisch: In die Wirtschaft gehst du doch freiwillig, oder? Da ist Corona-Risk okay. Wenn du aber in die Schule musst, und dort Corona kriegst, dann bist du am Ende unfreiwillig gestorben.“
A brand new piece of information from the Longwave Transmitter Motala (189 Khz), Sweden: "Greta Thunberg will receive the next "Nobel Prize in Physics" in 2023! The reason why is, she found a dimmer against the solar wind on her sailing trip on a lonely island! Now the earth is forever protected from overheating!"
Uwe Schmidt, Neubrandenburg
Was singen Pensionierte an Weihnachten?
Last Christmas, I gave you my dog, but the very next day I shit on your head.
"Fuck tha Police, I hate you, I will shit on you."
Robin, danke für deinen Beitrag für die Seite! :) Ich finde gut, dass du quasi den Moderator spielst!
Hier mein Witz: Kommt ein 🐎 in die Bar. Fragt der Barkeeper, was darf es sein?? Sagt das Pferd: "Halt’s Maul, du blöder Penner! 😭📼 Einen Whiskey on Ice!!"
War eine Bojack Horseman Anspielung. 😒 Hoffe, die gefällt euch!
Warum nimmt Erik immer eine Leiter mit in die Bar?
Weil er gehört hat, die Drinks sind "on the house"! 🍹
Warum wird Hitler beim Fahrradfahren angehalten? Falsches Handzeichen! 😉
Wer kann am besten Mexikaner essen?
Richtig, eine Karotte, allerdings steht Trump unter den Karotten. Sogar eine Melone ist er nicht, hahaha! Total lustig! Subscribe me on YT.
Alain ist schwul.
BEBE ON TINA!
They say I am young and know nothing about life, but when the earth suffers, we suffer at the same time.
It's so easy to understand, that nature is our mother. And like us, she is free, she belongs to no one. And I love all the things that she gives me.
Come with me, I can't make it alone. But together, together, we're strong! I am young, but I know what to do, time is running out to save the earth! Come make a difference, we can make it work, Let's make it happen now! Soon it'll be too late, I can't make it all alone. I need you now!
They say that everything is normal, that global warming is a false alarm, but I am living in a sea of green, and the world is full of heat and fire. It's time to wake up! I know it's hard but we can make it better. And all together defend our home, we must go further. Come with me, I can't make it alone, but together, together, we're strong! I am young but I know what to do time is running out to save the earth. Come make a difference, we can make it work. Let's make it happen now!
Wenn euch der Liedtext gefällt bitte ein Dislike.
One, two, three. Turn it up. Big wheels keep on turnin'. Carry me home to see my kin. Singin' songs about the south-land. I miss Alabama once again and I think it's a sin, yes.
Well, I heard Mister Young sing about her. Well, I heard ol' Neil put her down. Well, I hope Neil Young will remember, A southern man don't need him around anyhow. Sweet home Alabama Where the skies are so blue. Sweet home Alabama Lord, I'm comin' home to you.
In Birmingham, they love the governor (boo-hoo-hoo). Now we all did what we could do. Now Watergate does not bother me. Does your conscience bother you? Tell the truth. Sweet home Alabama Where the skies are so blue. Sweet home Alabama (oh yeah) Lord, I'm comin' home to you. Here I come, Alabama. Oh, oh, oh Alabama, oh, oh, oh Alabama, oh, oh, oh Alabama, oh, oh, oh Alabama
Now Muscle Shoals has got the Swampers And they've been known to pick a song or two (yes they do). Lord, they get me off so much. They pick me up when I'm feelin' blue. Now how about you? Sweet home Alabama Where the skies are so blue. Sweet home Alabama Lord, I'm comin' home to you. Sweet home Alabama (oh, sweet home) Where the skies are so blue And the governor's true Sweet home Alabama (Lordy) Lord, I'm comin' home to you, yeah, yeah Montgomery's got the answer.
Best Lied ever:)👍🏽🥸
15. Russia Tatjana Mezhentseva and Denberel Oorzhak.
Tatjana and Denberel had a very good audition with cool Leds on the stage. The song was a bit strange, but have a great message and fits the stage well. But I felt, something was missing on the stage, of course there were any dancers and bigger special effects. Tatjana has a beautiful voice, but Denberels voice isnt perfect and maybe a bit powerless. Sorry Russia!
14. Albania Isea Cili Mikja ime Femijeri.
The stage was really colourful and the many leds give it a unique and also magic sense of style. Her song was very emotional and catches everyone with the pretty emotional refrain. But I fell, something was missing in the song. It was really beautiful, but not powerful enough to make it to a big contender. Iseas Voice was very good, but I know that song show not all what she can.
13. Malta Eliana Gomez Blanco We are more.
Her Vocals and Voice were not really great. Her song was also a bit strange and not very interesting. The stage had great leds that perfectly fits her emotional song, but something special was missing on it. I know she wasnt bad, but not good enough.
12. Serbia Darija Vracevic Podigni Glas.
The song is really powerful and have the perfect emotion in it. The stage was pretty with the many leds and special effects that suits the song very much. Her vocals were fantastic and she have a great strong voice. But her outfit can be a bit better.
You can watch all the songs on YouTube. Please a Dislike when you like it.
