Deine Mutter steht um 7:59 Uhr vor Aldi und singt: "It's the final countdown!"
An umbrella and an apple are in the kitchen, eating their lunch box.
Then ask the umbrella: "Let us football play. You are the football."
Dalai Lama walks into a store and buys something.
He waits for the change but the change never comes.
Gott: "Ich kann Länder und Flüsse erschaffen." Notch: "Ich auch." Gott: "Ich kann Lebewesen erschaffen." Notch: "Ich auch." Gott: "Ich kann runde Dinge erschaffen." Notch: (hat das Spiel verlassen)
The American Way of Life vor Donald J. Trump: "Haus, Auto, Swimmingpool"
The American Way of Life nach Donald J. Trump: "Bunker, Flinte, Konservendosen"
Wie heißt die neue amerikanische Nationalhymne, die Donald J. Trump ausgesucht hat?
"Spiel mir das Lied vom Tod!"
(Original: "Once upon a time in the west" H. Mancini)
Chuck Norris ist schneller als "The Flash".
Sogar im Sitzen.
What is the difference between God and president Trump? God knows everything - Trump knows everything better!
A reporter asks Trump during a press conference: "Lies and alternative facts are the same, isn't it?"
Trump: "I tell you no lies, you must see the alternative fucks."
Bill Gates passes the latest prototype of the "mind-reading-loo" to Donald J. Trump, so he can rule USA 24 hours a day from his new throne. The "mind-reading-loo" is part of the internet of things and connected to all electronics worldwide. Trump checks the new toy. He pisses and the "mind-reading-loo" twitters: "China gets pissed first!". Trump let go a fart and the "mind-reading-loo" twitters: "Forget climate change, enviromental pollution and shut down the "U.S. Environmental Protection Agency". Trump shits and a computer generatetd voice announces: "Thank you Mr. pesident, for doing the biggest bullshit ever! All missiles were launched successfully." The toilet flushes automatically and twitters: "The swamp in Washington is now drained."
Bill Gates passes the prototype of a "mind-reading-toilet" to Donald Trump so he can rule America without circumstances. Trump examines the latest thing and pisses. The "mind-read-loo" automatically twitters: "I piss on China!". Trump is excited and farts: The "mind-read-loo" sends automatically e-mails to build a great wall and sends Mexico instantly the bills. He shits and a computer-generated voice says: "Mr. President, you entered the password "THE_GREATEST_BULLSHIT_EVER!" to N.O.R.A.D. The nuclear intercontinental ballistic missiles start in 3...2...1...launch.... Thank you for using the "mind-read-loo" and have a nice day.
Chuck Norris ist so hart, dass er Berta aus "Two and a Half Men" entjungfert hat...
What does Melania see in Donald Trump? -- 10 billion dollars and high cholesterol.
How does Donald Trump plan on deporting illegal immigrants? -- Juan by Juan.
If Donald Trump becomes President, it won't be the first time he's kicked a black family out of their home.
What is Donald Trump telling Barack Obama supporters? -- Orange Is The New Black.
What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals? -- He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
Deine Mutter ist so hässlich, wenn sie bei "The Walking Dead" als Zombie mitmacht, braucht sie kein Spezial-Make-Up.
"Lemmy was the only person Chuck Norris was afraid of!"
Deine Mudda schiebt sich eine Batterie in den Arsch und singt "Got the power".
Deine Mutter ist so fett, die hat sogar "Behind the Scenes".
Deine Mutter ist Gruppencoach bei The Biggest Loser.
Deine Mudder ist der Dickste bei "The Biggest Loser".
Deine Mutter singt beim Kacken "It's the final countdown!"
