The-Witze

Ich: Mama, soll ich die Hauptfigur in dem Buch, das ich schreibe, töten, um die Sache interessanter zu machen?

Mama: Klar, mein Schatz! Was für ein Buch schreibst du denn?

Ich: Es ist eine Autobiografie.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Germa singt beim Kacken „It’s the final countdown!“

Female

Reporter: "Mr. President, why is the Corona Virus making us so difficult?"

Trump: "Corona is female. We cannot grab the virus by the eggs!"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7?"

"Because 7 8 (ate) 9."

"And why was 10 afraid?"

"Because it was in the middle of 9/11."

Deine Mudda guckt in den Spiegel und es ertönt "Who let the dogs out?"

How does the Lemur get to work?

He takes his madagas-car. 😅

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson meinte einmal, dass beim Schere, Stein, Papier immer der Stein gewinnt, doch Chuck Norris gewinnt - auch wenn er nicht mitspielt.

"London ist immer wieder einen Abstecher wert!"

Jack the Ripper (33)

Warum geht Adele über die Straße?

Um "Hello from the other side" zu sagen!

I want to believe that Descartes is the greatest philosopher, but I manuel kan‘t.

Pressekonferenz:

Reporter: "Herr Präsident, was sind die Regeln nach dem Ende der Corona-Krise?"

Trump: "Nach Corona gibt es keine Regeln mehr. Kauft eine 45 Magnum. Es wird der Wilde, Wilde Westen."

Nicos Mutter sitzt ohne Arme in der Gosse und singt "put your hands up in the air!".

Meet girls in the park is good. But park meat in girls is better.

USA - Corona

Reporter: "Sorry, Mr. President, we have too few masks."

Trump: "I've already called ZORRO."

Reporter: "Mr. President, what's your plan?"

Trump: "The healthy immediately go to Area 51 and all shops are closed... After 4 weeks we return and normal life continues."

Reporter: "What should people live on afterwards?"

Trump: "So, I bought AMAZON shares."

Draco, the Harry in Harry Potter und der Stein der Weisen: "Hallo, ich bin Draco Malfoy. Ich bin ein Rassist. Ich verachte rothaarige und Schlammblüter. Ich hasse Gryffindor. Mein Mann arbeitet für den Mann, der deine Eltern umgebracht hat. Willst du mein Freund sein?"

Bill Clinton

Sperm is best against the Corona Virus.

I gave Monica a swallow every day.

She was never sick.

Why was the 10 scared?

Because he's in the middle of 9/11.

Reporter: "Mr. President, how did you solve the Corona crisis, so quickly?"

Trump: "Classic, with hand grenades, as always."

Reporter: “Mr. President, the people are depressed by the corona virus. What do you intend to do?”

Trump: "We will treat the people with nitrous oxide!"