"88mm a day keep the Russian away!"
The-Witze
Female
Reporter: "Mr. President, why is the Corona Virus making us so difficult?"
Trump: "Corona is female. We cannot grab the virus by the eggs!"
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Germa singt beim Kacken „It’s the final countdown!“
Deine Mudda guckt in den Spiegel und es ertönt "Who let the dogs out?"
How does the Lemur get to work?
He takes his madagas-car. 😅
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson meinte einmal, dass beim Schere, Stein, Papier immer der Stein gewinnt, doch Chuck Norris gewinnt - auch wenn er nicht mitspielt.
"London ist immer wieder einen Abstecher wert!"
Jack the Ripper (33)
Warum geht Adele über die Straße?
Um "Hello from the other side" zu sagen!
I want to believe that Descartes is the greatest philosopher, but I manuel kan‘t.
Pressekonferenz:
Reporter: "Herr Präsident, was sind die Regeln nach dem Ende der Corona-Krise?"
Trump: "Nach Corona gibt es keine Regeln mehr. Kauft eine 45 Magnum. Es wird der Wilde, Wilde Westen."
Nicos Mutter sitzt ohne Arme in der Gosse und singt "put your hands up in the air!".
USA - Corona
Reporter: "Sorry, Mr. President, we have too few masks."
Trump: "I've already called ZORRO."
Reporter: "Mr. President, what's your plan?"
Trump: "The healthy immediately go to Area 51 and all shops are closed... After 4 weeks we return and normal life continues."
Reporter: "What should people live on afterwards?"
Trump: "So, I bought AMAZON shares."
Horror ----------- Besser CORONA als "The Rake"!
Draco, the Harry in Harry Potter und der Stein der Weisen: "Hallo, ich bin Draco Malfoy. Ich bin ein Rassist. Ich verachte rothaarige und Schlammblüter. Ich hasse Gryffindor. Mein Mann arbeitet für den Mann, der deine Eltern umgebracht hat. Willst du mein Freund sein?"
Bill Clinton
Sperm is best against the Corona Virus.
I gave Monica a swallow every day.
She was never sick.
Why was the 10 scared?
Because he's in the middle of 9/11.
Reporter: "Mr. President, how did you solve the Corona crisis, so quickly?"
Trump: "Classic, with hand grenades, as always."
Reporter: “Mr. President, the people are depressed by the corona virus. What do you intend to do?”
Trump: "We will treat the people with nitrous oxide!"
Reporter: "Mr. President, what are you going to do next against the Corona-Virus?"
Trump: "We are launching DEFCON 3."
Reporter: "What does this mean for the United States, Mr. President?"
Trump: "The ventilators are equipped with a coin slot."
