Lesse-Witze
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Je weniger Menschen an Covid-19 leiden und sterben, desto mehr verbreiten die Massenmedien es. Scheint eine Regel zu sein: Je weniger Kultur Menschen haben, desto mehr müssen sie sie verbreiten.
Eine englische Lehrerin kommt frisch von der Uni an ein englisches Nobelinternat. Wie es sich gehört, fragt sie in der ersten Stunde die Kinder nach Ihren Namen: "What's your name?"
"My name is Steve Smith."
"And what's your name?"
"My name is Brenda Scott."
"And what's your name?"
"My name is John Fuckinghour, Mam."
Lehrerin: "Häää, what's your name?!"
"My name is John Fuckinghour, Mam."
Die Lehrerin glaubt dieses nicht - so ein seriöses Internat und so ein Name - und fragt in der Pause eine Kollegin: "Do we have a fuckinghour here?"
Daraufhin die Kollegin flüsternd: "Never the less we have a teabreak!"
Memes
Hab den perfekten Job für mich gefunden: (LMAO)
Breaking News: Chuck Norris won the Berlin Marathon in less than 2h.
Result was not counted. He ran from Berlin to Marathon.
Der Lehrer: "Für die Arbeit werdet ihr keinen Taschenrechner brauchen. Ich werde einfache, im Kopf zu lösende Aufgaben im Test abfragen."
Am Tag der Arbeit:
Der Lehrer liest die Aufgaben vor: "Kommen wir zu Nummer 1. Tom, lies die Aufgabe mal vor."
Tom: "Fritzchen hat 73748372948243 Bananen. Eine Banane kostet 13,76 Euro. Nun will sich Fritzchen mehr Bananen kaufen. Er fragt seine Eltern nach Geld und bekommt 275637293624384625253 Euro. Wie viele Bananen kann sich Fritzchen noch kaufen?"
Der Lehrer: "Ist doch ganz einfach!"
Tom sagt: "Ich dachte, wir sollen keinen Taschenrechner mitnehmen!"
Der Lehrer sagt: "Ja, solltet ihr auch nicht. Das ist Stoff aus der ersten Klasse!"
Paulina, die Streberin, sagt: "Ja, das weiß man doch schon, seit man geboren ist!"
Tom sagt: "Ach komm, Digga, ich werde Influencer!"
Alle Kinder spielen Fußball, außer Lesse, der kriegt den Ball in die Fresse.
Trump steht vorm Spiegel und sagt: "Complain? Can be rather less!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, if this video is less than a min, I'll give it a view!
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner.
Memes
Community
Bye, ich bin erstmal weg. War ganz schön mit euch, danke dafür. 3 Wochen oder Monate, keine Ahnung wann bzw. ob ich wiederkomme. Always remember: I‘m not heartless. I just learned to use my heart less.
@¥Guitar_Cat¥ ive seen what you said on the american website ( worstjokesever.com ) and wanted to say about this website not going to lie its really chill and peaceful not many assholes but there are always a few but less than the american version. and thanks for giving my account a follow and i gave yours one aswell.
Leute, bitte tut mir einen Gefallen und packt nicht alles mit "Alle Kinder" voll.
Ich mag schwarzen Humor zwar auch, aber wenn man zu viele dieser Witze liest, nutzt es sich schnell ab. Ist ähnlich, wie wenn man beim 10. Mal nicht mehr über den Film lachen muss, obwohl man ihn beim ersten Mal richtig witzig fand.
Ach ja, und selbsterfundene Namen wie "Jansen" oder "Lesse", nur damit es sich reimt, zählen nicht.