Trump besucht Angela Merkel. Sie fragt ihn: "Wie kann ich wieder Bundeskanzlerin werden?" Trump klebt sich zum Spaß einen Oberlippenbart und sagt: "Lass mich reden vor dem Bundestag! I talk for you! Make Germany great again!" Merkel: "Gute Idee. Die glauben das!"

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Mr. Präsident, welches Land wird unter Ihrer Politik am schnellsten untergehen?

"America first?"

Yes, you can.

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A reporter asks Trump during a press confernce: "Lies and alternative facts are the same, isn't it?" Trump: "I tell you no lies, you must see the alternative fucks."

Bill Gates passes the latest prototype of the "mind-reading-loo" to Donald J. Trump, so he can rule USA 24 hours a day from his new throne. The "mind-reading-loo" is part of the internet of things and connected to all electronics worldwide. Trump checks the new toy. He pisses and the "mind-reading-loo" twitters: "China gets pissed first!". Trump let go a fart and the "mind-reading-loo" twitters: "Forget climate change, enviromental pollution and shut down the "U.S. Environmental Protection Agency". Trump shits and a computer generatetd voice announces: "Thank you Mr. pesident, for doing the biggest bullshit ever! All missiles were launched successfully." The toilet flushes automatically and twitters: "The swamp in Washington is now drained."

Bill Gates passes the prototype of a "mind-reading-toilet" to Donald Trump so he can rule america without circumstances. Trump examines the latest thing an pisses. The "mind-read-loo" autamtically twitters: "I piss on China". Trump is exited and farts: the "mind-read-loo" sends automatcally e-mails to built a great wall and sends Mexico instantly the bills. He shits and a computer generated voice says: "Mr. President. You entered the password "THE_GREATEST_BULLSHIT_EVER!" to N.O.R.A.D. The nuclear intercontinental ballistic missiles start in 3...2...1...launch.... Tank you for using the "mind-read-loo" and have a nice day.

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Deine Mutter sieht sich bei "All you can eat" die Menükarte an und sagt zum Kellner: "OK!"

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Ein SQL-Query kommt in eine Bar, geht zu zwei Tischen und fragt: "Kann ich mich zu euch joinen?"

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