You know you are German when...
... You went with your Laterne and your Laterne went with you.
... Du auf die Frage „Du you speak english?“ mit „See I so out?“ antwortest.
Wenn mich jemand nach der Corona-Krise zu einem Maskenball einlädt, dann hau ich ihm eins auf die Schnauze!
Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not with a "c"?
Because you can't C in the dark!
Zwei Leute verabschieden sich: „Tschüss, auf Wiedersehen.“
Zwei Nerds verabschieden sich: „May the m•a be with you.“
"Twinkle, twinkle, little star, hit the stalker with a car."
Friend: I think you should stop watching Harry Potter Me: are you sirius? What is ron with you?
With who does the Skeleton go the party with??? NoBody
Two Italian men get on a bus...
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
Steve und Alex sind in ihrem Haus. Auf einmal kommt aus dem Nether der Wither. Alex hat großen Angst, doch Steve sagt: "keine Sorge! Der hat nur Schnupfen.
Roses are dead, love is fake, weddings are litteraly funerals with cake.
Was sagen wither wenn sie nein sagen wollen. Antwort: Never ever
How do you call a man with no body and no nose? -Nobody kowns
Chuck Norris kann den Wither mit einem Bogen töten.
press conference ---------------------------
Reporter: “Mr. President, the people are depressed by the corona virus. What do you intend to do? "
Trump: "We will treat the people with nitrous oxide!"
solution
Reporter: "Mr. President, how did you solve the Corona crisis, so quickly?"
Trump: "Classic, with hand grenades, as always."
Harry: Hermione I Must Tell you something Hermione: Me First, i slept with Ron Harry: You Too?
DEFCON
Reporter: "Mr. President, what are you going to do next against the Corona-Virus? "
Trump: "We are launching DEFCON 3.
Reporter: "What does this mean for the United States, Mr. President?"
Trump: "The ventilators are equipped with a coin slot."
A little Weihnachtsgedicht When the snow falls wunderbar, and the children happy are. When the Glatteis on the street, and we all a Glühwein need. Then you know, es ist soweit. she is here, the Weihnachtszeit.
Every Parkhaus is besetzt, weil die people fahren jetzt. All to Kaufhof, Mediamarkt, kriegen nearly Herzinfarkt. Shopping hirnverbrannte things, and the Christmasglocke rings.Mother in the kitchen bakes, Schoko-, Nuss- and Mandelkeks. Daddy in the Nebenraum, schmücks a Riesen-Weihnachtsbaum. He is hanging off the balls, then he from the Leiter falls.
Finaly the Kinderlein, to the Zimmer kommen rein. And it sings the family schauerlich: "Oh, Chistmastree!" And then jeder in the house, is packing the Geschenke aus.Mama finds unter the Tanne, eine brandnew Teflon-Pfanne. Papa gets a Schlips and Socken, everybody does frohlocken. President speaks in TV, all around is Harmonie. Bis mother in the kitchen runs, im Ofen burns the Weihnachtsgans. And so comes die Feuerwehr, with Tatü, tata daher. And they bring a long, long Schlauch, and a long, long Leiter auch. And they schrei - "Wasser marsch!", Christmas now is in the Eimer.
Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, Hear the music, see the lights, Frohe Weihnacht, Frohe Weihnacht, Merry Christmas allerseits!
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Was stirbt zuerst, der Enderdrache oder der Wither?
Antwort: Steve
