Wither

Wither-Witze

In the 1960s, a man living in the Soviet Union walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender replies, "Beer used to be 50 kopecks, but we had to add another 50 kopecks to pay for the Communist Party’s five-year economic plan. So it’s one ruble now. Everybody must pay for the plan."

The man thinks for a moment and says, "Alright, I’ll have one beer, please."

He puts down a ruble on the counter. The bartender takes the ruble and gives back 50 kopecks.

The man says with a confused smile, "I thought you said everybody pays for the economic plan."

The bartender replies, "Yes, comrade — but the problem is, we have no beer."

  • 0

    • I finally discovered what is wrong with my brain.

    On the left side is nothing right and on the right side is nothing left.

  • 0

    • Zwei Leute verabschieden sich: „Tschüss, auf Wiedersehen.“

    Zwei Nerds verabschieden sich: „May the m*a be with you.“

  • 0

    • Two Italian men get on a bus...

    They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

    The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

    "Emma come first.

    Den I come.

    Den two asses come together.

    I come once-a-more.

    Two asses, they come together again.

    I come again and pee twice.

    Then I come one lasta time."

    "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.

    "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

    "Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

    "Who talkin' abouta sexa?

    I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

  • 3

    • You know you are German when...

    ... You went with your Laterne and your Laterne went with you.

    ... Du auf die Frage „Do you speak english?“ mit „See I so out?“ antwortest.

  • 4

    • Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not with a "c"?

    Because you can't C in the dark!

  • 8

    • Englisch für Fortgeschrittene: English for runaways.

    "Do you want to lunch with us?" "Wollen Sie uns lünchen?"

    "I’m hungry." "Ich bin Ungar."

    "I’m thirsty." "Ich bin Donnerstag."

    "Here is a letter for you." "Hier ist eine Leiter für euch."

    Cosmonaut Kaku’s Court, do you wanna have a good Thanksgiving with the world? Come to talk to Maya. Unhealthy, I thdo.

    You guys probably can't read this, so I'm gonna write some bullcrap on here and uh good luck. 😁

    Cocoa headline life, ask DJ, okay? Do you like chicky nuggies dipped in greek yoghurt with dirt? I do and it tastes amazing! 😂