Wither-Witze

Where there's a will, there's a way, kind of beautiful. And every night has its day, so magical. And if there's love in this life, there's no obstacle That can't be defeated. For every tyrant, a tear for the vulnerable. In every lost soul, the bones of a miracle. For every dreamer, a dream, we're unstoppable With something to believe in.

Monday left me broken. Tuesday, I was through with hoping. Wednesday, my empty arms were open. Thursday, waiting for love, waiting for love. Thank the stars, it's Friday. I'm burning like a fire gone wild on Saturday. Guess I won't be coming to church on Sunday. I'll be waiting for love, waiting for love to come around.

We are one of a kind, irreplaceable. How did I get so blind and so cynical? If there's love in this life, we're unstoppable. No, we can't be defeated. Monday left me broken. Tuesday, I was through with hoping. Wednesday, my empty arms were open. Thursday, waiting for love, waiting for love. Thank the stars, it's Friday. I'm burning like a fire gone wild on Saturday. Guess I won't be coming to church on Sunday. I'll be waiting for love, waiting for love to come around.

I finally discovered what is wrong with my brain.

On the left side is nothing right and on the right side is nothing left.

Why is „Dark“ spelled with a „K“ and not with a „C“?

Because you can’t see in the dark.

Zwei Leute verabschieden sich: „Tschüss, auf Wiedersehen.“

Zwei Nerds verabschieden sich: „May the m*a be with you.“

Zwei Italiener steigen in einen Bus.

Sie setzen sich und beginnen eine lebhafte Unterhaltung. Sie sprechen mit italienischem Akzent.

Die Dame, die hinter ihnen sitzt, ignoriert sie zuerst, aber ihre Aufmerksamkeit wird geweckt, als sie einen der Männer folgendes sagen hört:

"Emma kommt zuerst.

Dann komme ich.

Dann kommen zwei Ärsche zusammen.

Ich komme noch einmal.

Zwei Ärsche, sie kommen wieder zusammen.

Ich komme wieder und pinkel zweimal.

Dann komme ich ein letztes Mal."

"Du unverschämtes Schwein", erwiderte die Dame entrüstet.

"In diesem Land reden wir nicht öffentlich über unser Sexleben!"

"Hey, coola down lady", sagte der Mann.

"Wer redet über Sexa?

Ich sage meinem Freunda nur, wie man 'Mississippi' buchstabiert."

You know you are German when...

... You went with your Laterne and your Laterne went with you.

... Du auf die Frage „Do you speak english?“ mit „See I so out?“ antwortest.

Roses are dead, love is fake, weddings are literally funerals with cake.

How do you call a man with no body and no nose?

- Nobody knows.

Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not with a "c"?

Because you can't C in the dark!

Englisch für Fortgeschrittene: English for runaways.

"Do you want to lunch with us?" "Wollen Sie uns lünchen?"

"I’m hungry." "Ich bin Ungar."

"I’m thirsty." "Ich bin Donnerstag."

"Here is a letter for you." "Hier ist eine Leiter für euch."

Cosmonaut Kaku’s Court, do you wanna have a good Thanksgiving with the world? Come to talk to Maya. Unhealthy, I thdo.

Alle Kinder sind nett, außer epic_witherkiller, der killt alle Wither.

Jetzt kommen wir zu 100 Withern: Die habe ich mir alle ercheatet ...

Ich meinte stundenlang gefarmt.

Er besiegt den Wither. Seine Bossleiste wird immer kleiner. So klein wie... meine Relevanz.

You guys probably can't read this, so I'm gonna write some bullcrap on here and uh good luck. 😁

Cocoa headline life, ask DJ, okay? Do you like chicky nuggies dipped in greek yoghurt with dirt? I do and it tastes amazing! 😂

Was sagen Wither, wenn sie nein sagen wollen?

Antwort: Never ever.

Tjark.

All the kids are swimming with dolphins, only Tjark swims with a shark.

With whom does the skeleton go to the party with?

No body.

🚨 Lewandowski to FC Barcelona confirmed!!!

After long negotiations Barcelona have agreed on terms.

Contract 5 years with 500.000£ per day.

....... is like sex. The first time you try you are nervous but it's still the best thing you've ever tried. The more you do it the better it gets every time. As you do it with more people you get to know new techniques. After a time you'll learn to enjoy it.

So if you love sex you will like: ........