Schlechte Witze

Ich scheiße.

Der Arzt nach der OP zum Patienten: "Es tut mir furchtbar leid, wir haben Ihnen versehentlich das falsche Bein abgenommen. Aber keine Sorge: Dafür machen wir das Andere kostenlos!"

Linux ist wie die Bibel. Jeder hat sie, aber keiner kennt sich damit aus.

Dass Masse und Energie im Grunde genommen das Gleiche sind, sollte man als Motivationsspruch nehmen!

Ich wollte eine Autowerkstatt in einem alten Bordell eröffnen, doch der Slogan "Gestern hatte ich noch einen Steifen, doch heute wechsel ich Autoreifen" kam nicht so gut an.

Ich wollte gestern campen gehen, aber es kam anders.

Auflösung siehe unten:

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Von Hilf mir

Was passiert, wenn eine Mutter unter Druck steht und in ihr Zimmer geht?

Dann heißt es: "Mami geht in die Unterdruckkammer!"

Deine Mutter ist so fett, dass, wenn sie vom Hochhaus springt, alle denken, die Sonne geht unter.

Ich habe Hobbys. Wirklich.

Wie nennt man einen fetten Kurden namens Taylan?

Thailand!

Die alte Helma steigt im Kaufhaus in den Aufzug. Im ersten Stock kommt eine aufgedonnerte Tussi herein, die eine riesige Parfümwolke hinter sich herzieht. Sie schaut herablassend auf Helma und meint: "Chanel No 5, 50 ml, 100 Euro." Im zweiten Stock steigt eine noch aufgedonnerte Tussi ein, die eine noch größere Parfümwolke hinter sich herzieht und noch herablassender sagt: "Eau d'Hadrien von Annick, 50 ml, 160 Euro." Im dritten Stock steigt Helma aus. Sie schaut sich um, lässt einen fahren und sagt ganz cool: "Rosenkohl vom Aldi 200g, 99 Cent."

Ich fahr so gern nach Reykjavik, weil ich so gern die Reika f...

Wie nennt sich ein schlafender Kuchen? - Pancake

Warum war Kant schwul?

Er war im Manuel.

Hu hsjjsj nsjiwj sjiiensm.

Uru I v zu t6g7?

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Ich trage die schwarze Kleidung, weil ich auf der Beerdigung deiner Ehre war.

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Wer ist dumm und lutscht an den Eiern? Deine Mutter!