Schlechte Witze

Schlechte Witze

Pfirsich

51 Aufrufe ·

Ich zu meiner Mutter: "Ich hätte Lust auf ein geiles Früchtchen."

Mutter: "Du bist aber pervers!"

Ich: "Auf einen Pfirsich, Mama, auf einen Pfirsich!"

Inschrift

27 Aufrufe ·

Ich habe gestern die beste Inschrift der Welt gesehen: "Guter Witz. Jetzt lasst mich wieder raus! Hallo? Hallo?!"

Feuerwehr

46 Aufrufe ·

Ein Passant ruft die Feuerwehr an: "Bei meinem Nachbar steigt dunkler schwarzer Rauch auf!"

Feuerwehrmann: "Dann rufen Sie eben bei der Dunklerschwarzerrauchwehr an!"

Vogel

4 Aufrufe ·

Fritz kauft sich einen Vogel.

Später in der Schule fragt die Lehrerin, ob jemand einen Vogel hat.

Fritz antwortet: "Ja, ich habe einen Vogel." Er war froh, als Einziger in der Klasse einen Vogel zu besitzen. ABER DIE GANZE KLASSE LACHTE!!!

Schreibe es in die Kommentare, warum die Klasse lacht!

Yacht

125 Aufrufe ·

Zehn kleine Negerlein, die fuhren auf 'ner Yacht. Da ist ein Walfisch aufs Deck gekracht, hat gleich fünf Seeleut' plattgemacht. Da waren's nur noch fünf. Fünf kleine Negerlein, die flohen vor 'ner Hungersnot auf einem kleinen Gummiboot. Das wird jetzt sogar mir zu makaber... Wie nennt man diese Art von Witzen? Genau: Schwarzen Humor.

Lehrer

2 Aufrufe ·

"Hallo", sagt der Lehrer, "ach, du bist dumm! Was hast du da? Geh! Dein Gelaber interessiert niemanden, dann kannst du ja gleich mit rauskommen!"

Arne

34 Aufrufe ·

Ich habe heute einen Witz, sagte Arne. Der Lehrer fragt: „Schieß los!“ Arne kurz darauf: „Meine erwarteten Noten haben sie weit verfehlt!“

Friedhof

25 Aufrufe ·

Johannes ging heute auf den Friedhof und sprach: "Mann, sind das viele Gräber! Mal sehen, wer da alles liegt! Ich werde hier nicht liegen, wenn ich tot bin. Ich werde verbrannt."

Vodka

1 Aufruf ·

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner.

Blut

21 Aufrufe ·

Da geht rein, dann raus, überall ist Blut. Rein geht es, dann ist es tot.

Brombeerkralle

99 Aufrufe ·

Brombeerkralle und Rauchfell jagen. Jeder behauptet, der bessere Jäger zu sein. Brombeerkralle sagt: "Rat mal, wer gerade ein Kaninchen erwischt hat!" Rauchfell erwidert: "Rat mal, wer gerade ein Kaninchen, zwei Mäuse und vier Amseln gefangen hat!"

*Krallengemetzel*