When-Witze

Witz schreiben

Zwei Italiener steigen in einen Bus.

Sie setzen sich und beginnen eine lebhafte Unterhaltung. Sie sprechen mit italienischem Akzent.

Die Dame, die hinter ihnen sitzt, ignoriert sie zuerst, aber ihre Aufmerksamkeit wird geweckt, als sie einen der Männer folgendes sagen hört:

"Emma kommt zuerst.

Dann komme ich.

Dann kommen zwei Ärsche zusammen.

Ich komme noch einmal.

Zwei Ärsche, sie kommen wieder zusammen.

Ich komme wieder und pinkel zweimal.

Dann komme ich ein letztes Mal."

"Du unverschämtes Schwein", erwiderte die Dame entrüstet.

"In diesem Land reden wir nicht öffentlich über unser Sexleben!"

"Hey, coola down lady", sagte der Mann.

"Wer redet über Sexa?

Ich sage meinem Freunda nur, wie man 'Mississippi' buchstabiert."

You know you are German when...

... You went with your Laterne and your Laterne went with you.

... Du auf die Frage „Do you speak english?“ mit „See I so out?“ antwortest.

Wladimir Putin geht in London in ein Restaurant.😋 Als der Kellner kommt, sagt er: "Beefsteak, please."

Als nach einer halben Stunde immer noch nichts auf seinem Teller lag, fragt er den Kellner: "When did I become a Beefsteak?"

Darauf sagt der Kellner: "I hope as fast as possible!"

Dancing is like sex.

- When you first try it, you are nervous.

- But it is still the best thing you have ever tried.

- The more you do it, the better it gets every time.

- With experience, you can do it longer...

- As you do it with more people, you get to know new techniques.

- After a time, you learn to enjoy it.

So if you love sex, you will like dancing.

Voldemort: "AvadA-"

Hermine: "StOp sToP StOp, you're going to take someone's eye out! Besides, you say it WrOnG! It's AvAda, not AvadA!"

Voldemort: "Do it yourself if you're so clever. Go on, go on!"

Hermine: "AvAda Kedavra!"

"Yayyyy i killed Voldemort!"

Das wäre ein besseres Ende gewesen. 😄

When I was on BBB: The website said: "You ́re the only person in this conference."

JESC 2019: Share the Joy Lyrics with singers.

Melani Garcia: I’ve got these butterflies, my body keeps on holding, because they going wild when i’m excited everyday.

Erin Mai: And I love every feeling, that life brings cause i’m living so free, yeah. I feel free.

Liza Misnikova: When I’m dreaming yeah please don’t ever wake me, because i’m living from the love given to me!

Jordan Anthony: Whether from my Mother, my sisters or my brothers. Feel free. So free!

Karina Ignatyan: When you ever need somebody, I got you. Maybe i’m young, but I know what to do!

Sophia Ivanko: Not every day the greatest, yes it is true, but when you put your mind to it, you get truth!

Refrain: Just wanna share, Share the joy, Share the joy! Share the joy!

Anna Kearney: Not every day the greatest, yes its true, but when you put your mind to it, you can do!

Refrain

Joana Almeida: It happen soon I feel it, there’s honestly no secret. Trust me, yeah!, you see!

You can watch these great song at YouTube! Than write me a comment. Thanks!

"They say I'm young and know nothing about life, but when the earth suffer, we suffer at the same time. Let's make it happen now and save our planet!"

15. Russia Tatjana Mezhentseva and Denberel Oorzhak.

Tatjana and Denberel had a very good audition with cool Leds on the stage. The song was a bit strange, but have a great message and fits the stage well. But I felt, something was missing on the stage, of course there were any dancers and bigger special effects. Tatjana has a beautiful voice, but Denberels voice isnt perfect and maybe a bit powerless. Sorry Russia!

14. Albania Isea Cili Mikja ime Femijeri.

The stage was really colourful and the many leds give it a unique and also magic sense of style. Her song was very emotional and catches everyone with the pretty emotional refrain. But I fell, something was missing in the song. It was really beautiful, but not powerful enough to make it to a big contender. Iseas Voice was very good, but I know that song show not all what she can.

13. Malta Eliana Gomez Blanco We are more.

Her Vocals and Voice were not really great. Her song was also a bit strange and not very interesting. The stage had great leds that perfectly fits her emotional song, but something special was missing on it. I know she wasnt bad, but not good enough.

12. Serbia Darija Vracevic Podigni Glas.

The song is really powerful and have the perfect emotion in it. The stage was pretty with the many leds and special effects that suits the song very much. Her vocals were fantastic and she have a great strong voice. But her outfit can be a bit better.

You can watch all the songs on YouTube. Please a Dislike when you like it.

They say I am young and know nothing about life, but when the earth suffers, we suffer at the same time.

It's so easy to understand, that nature is our mother. And like us, she is free, she belongs to no one. And I love all the things that she gives me.

Come with me, I can't make it alone. But together, together, we're strong! I am young, but I know what to do, time is running out to save the earth! Come make a difference, we can make it work, Let's make it happen now! Soon it'll be too late, I can't make it all alone. I need you now!

They say that everything is normal, that global warming is a false alarm, but I am living in a sea of green, and the world is full of heat and fire. It's time to wake up! I know it's hard but we can make it better. And all together defend our home, we must go further. Come with me, I can't make it alone, but together, together, we're strong! I am young but I know what to do time is running out to save the earth. Come make a difference, we can make it work. Let's make it happen now!

Wenn euch der Liedtext gefällt bitte ein Dislike.

One, two, three. Turn it up. Big wheels keep on turnin'. Carry me home to see my kin. Singin' songs about the south-land. I miss Alabama once again and I think it's a sin, yes.

Well, I heard Mister Young sing about her. Well, I heard ol' Neil put her down. Well, I hope Neil Young will remember, A southern man don't need him around anyhow. Sweet home Alabama Where the skies are so blue. Sweet home Alabama Lord, I'm comin' home to you.

In Birmingham, they love the governor (boo-hoo-hoo). Now we all did what we could do. Now Watergate does not bother me. Does your conscience bother you? Tell the truth. Sweet home Alabama Where the skies are so blue. Sweet home Alabama (oh yeah) Lord, I'm comin' home to you. Here I come, Alabama. Oh, oh, oh Alabama, oh, oh, oh Alabama, oh, oh, oh Alabama, oh, oh, oh Alabama

Now Muscle Shoals has got the Swampers And they've been known to pick a song or two (yes they do). Lord, they get me off so much. They pick me up when I'm feelin' blue. Now how about you? Sweet home Alabama Where the skies are so blue. Sweet home Alabama Lord, I'm comin' home to you. Sweet home Alabama (oh, sweet home) Where the skies are so blue And the governor's true Sweet home Alabama (Lordy) Lord, I'm comin' home to you, yeah, yeah Montgomery's got the answer.

Best Lied ever:)👍🏽🥸

In einer Fernsehshow. Die Kandidaten sollen einen Satz mit "Timbuktu" bilden. Der erste sagt etwas einfallslos: "Letztes Jahr habe ich meinen Onkel in Timbuktu besucht, der ist dort Entwicklungshelfer." Der zweite erzählt: "Ich wollte unbedingt mal den Niger sehen. Mein Vater nahm ich mit auf eine Reise nach Timbuktu." Der dritte erzählt (auf Englisch): "When Tim and I to Brisbane went, we met three ladies in a tent. Cause they were three and we were two, I booked a lady and Tim booked two."

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