Abendessen-Witze

"Erstmal noch einen runterholen, danach gibt es Abendessen." - Karl Heinz, 23, Flakschütze.

Sohn beobachtet, wie sein Vater und seine Tante f*cken. Er erzählt es seiner Mutter. Sie fordert ihn auf, es beim Abendessen zu erzählen, da auch Onkel und Tante dabei sind. Beim Abendessen erzählt der Sohn: "Ich habe gesehen, wie Papa und Tante Emma aufeinander saßen und dasselbe gemacht haben wie Onkel Klaus und Mama letztes Wochenende."

War gestern Abend afrikanisch essen, bin fast verhungert!

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner.

Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner.

Mama hat den süßen Hasen geschlachtet und zum Abendbrot gemacht. Da die Kinder dieses Tier sehr lieb hatten, verheimlicht sie ihnen die Wahrheit. Der kleine Junge isst mit viel Appetit und fragt seinen Papa, was sie da denn essen.

Papa ganz stolz: "Ratet doch mal. Ich gebe euch einen Hinweis, ab und zu nennt Mama mich so."

Plötzlich spuckt die Tochter alles aus und sagt zu ihrem Bruder: "Iss das bloß nicht, das ist ein Arschloch!"

Wie ruft eine Vegetarierin ihre Kinder zu Tisch?

"Kommt, Hurensöhne!"

Frederick sitzt mit seiner Familie beim Abendbrot. Als er fast fertig ist, gibt er seinem Opa den Teller und bittet ihn, die Essensreste abzuschaben. "Warum?", fragt der Opa verwundert. Frederick antwortet: "Weil Mama gesagt hat, dass wir reich sind, wenn du endlich abkratzt."