An umbrella and an apple are in the kitchen, eating their lunch box.

Then ask the umbrella: "Let us football play. You are the football."

Deine Mutter ist so fett, wenn sie mit den Blauwalen schwimmt, singen sie "We are family."

A reporter asks Trump during a press conference: "Lies and alternative facts are the same, isn't it?"

Trump: "I tell you no lies, you must see the alternative fucks."