Harry: "I wanted to tell you something." Umbridge: "Go ahead." Harry: "Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw YOU."
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the middle one for you 😂
You know you are German when...
... You went with your Laterne and your Laterne went with you.
... Du auf die Frage „Du you speak english?“ mit „See I so out?“ antwortest.
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
(Funktioniert nur auf Englisch)
What Instument are Skeletons playing?
The TromBONE
Amerikaner: "Hey you, why the hell you wear a mask here in Death Valley??? Are yo a #Kartoffelvirus? harharhar..."
Deutscher:
Roses are red I have a phone Nobody texts me, Forever alone :(
Roses are red, violets are blue. I like pizza more than you.
Treffen sich zwei englische Schafe. Sagt das eine: „Hi, I’m Wool.“ Sagt das andere: „Are you Schur?“
Spiders are the only web developers that love finding bugs.
Why are cookies, called cookies and Bacon called Bacon, when you Cook Bacon and back Cookies?
Wenn deine Mudda in einer grauen Jacke am Strand geht, singen die Wale "We are family".
German speakingwords in english #4:(deutsche Sprichwörter auf englisch#4:) Rip you together. (Reiss dich zusammen.) That‘s not my beer. (Das ist nicht mein Bier.) Fear-rabbit (Angsthase) Tell no cheese. (Erzähl keinen Käse.) You can me once. (Du kannst mich mal.) I laugh me broken. (Ich lache mich kaputt.) You lucky mushroom. (Du Glückspilz.) You are on the woodway. (Du bist auf dem Holzweg.) That fits on no cowskin. (Das geht auf keine Kuhhaut.) He made himself me nothing you nothing out of the dust. (Er hat sich mir nichts dir nichts aus dem Staub gemacht.) Half so bad. (Halb so schlimm.) My hair stood to mountain. (Meine Haare standen mir zu Berge.)
Engländer in Deutschland: „Bears are very rare in this land...“ Deutscher: No, you must go nach Bayern. There are Biers in everywhere...”
Floppy disks are like Jesus: they died to become the icon of saving.
German speakingwords in english #3: (deutsche Sprichwörter auf englisch #3:) That is Snow from yesterday. (Das ist Schnee von gestern.) Not from bad parents. (Nicht von schlechten Eltern.) You have one at the waffle. (Du hast einen an der Waffel.) That is me sausage. (Das ist mir Wurst.) Do you have a bird? (Hast du einen Vogel?) I belive me kicks a horse. (Ich glaube mich tritt ein Pferd.) That knocks me out of the socks. (Das haut mich aus den Socken.) Don’t go me on the ghost. (Geh mir nicht auf den Geist.) Sponge over it. (Schwamm drüber.) We are at the ass of the world. (Wir sind am arsch der Welt.) You are very first cream. (Du bist allererste Sahne.) My deer swan. (Mein lieber Schwan.)
press conference
Reporter: "Mr. President, are you sure that you will be re-elected by the Corona crisis?"
Trump: "I'm sure I'm the next president again, no question.
Reporter: "What makes you so sure there, Mr. President?"
Trump: "Based on the death rate, the Democrats are ahead."
Roses are red, Violetts are blue, Thomas the train geht Dropt by a b-52
Friend: I think you should stop watching Harry Potter Me: are you sirius? What is ron with you?
Doesn't matter how kind you are, German kids are kinder.
