Are-Witze
Mr. Präsident, die Welt braucht keine Schnullerpolitik.
You are fired!
A reporter asks Trump during a press conference: "Lies and alternative facts are the same, isn't it?"
Trump: "I tell you no lies, you must see the alternative fucks."
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two.
Friend: I think you should stop watching Harry Potter.
Me: Are you Sirius? What is wrong with you?
(Funktioniert nur auf Englisch)
What instrument are skeletons playing?
The TromBONE
Roses are red, violets are blue, if this video is less than a min, I'll give it a view!
Roses are red, violets are blue. I like pizza more than you.
Roses are red, I have a phone. Nobody texts me, Forever alone :(
Was sagen belgische Flöhe während der Bekämpfung?
"We, we will resist and bite! Bite hard, cause we are all in sight! We, we take up arms and fight! Fight hard, resist and do what's right!"
(Quelle: Resist and Bite by SABATON)
Several of these games are worth some time and are actually quite fun. dkddcgebkgcdgfed
Was steht auf dem Grabstein eines Gamers? „You are banned from the real-life server.“
Was steht auf dem Grabstein von Lana del Rey?
"We are born to die."
Manchmal denke ich schon, dass ich einen an der Waffel habe, aber dann schaue ich mich um und höre eine Stimme singen: „You Are Not Alone!“
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The rides get more annoying when the kids start screaming
"I saw something between" - Ich habe Beethoven gesehen.
"He stood in the garden" - Er war in Stuttgart unterwegs.
"I can not enter the chat room" - Ich komme nicht in den Scheißraum.
"I saw the worst case in my life" - Ich sah den Fleischkäse in meinem Leben.
"Sometimes I use my LAPTOP" - Manchmal benutze ich mein Sitzklo.
"But I can not go online" - Ich kann nicht auf der Linie gehen.
"You are also cool" - Du bist also kühl.
"Who are you?" - Wo bist du?
"Where are you?" - Wo bist du?
"Are you sometimes on YouTube?" - Bist du manchmal in deiner Tube?
"Are you inside or outside?" - Bist du ein Insider oder ein Outsider?
"Men or woman?" - Welches Geschlecht bist du?
"I am both" - Ich bin Transgender.
Reporter: "Mr. President, what are you going to do next against the Corona-Virus?"
Trump: "We are launching DEFCON 3."
Reporter: "What does this mean for the United States, Mr. President?"
Trump: "The ventilators are equipped with a coin slot."
Deine Mudder ist so fett, wenn sie ins Meer geht, singen die Wale: „We are family“.
Sagt ein Elefant: "Are you all alright?"
Der Zoo sagt: "Yessssssss!"
Der Elefant: "No, you are all left!"
Was sagte Donald Trump zum Klimawandel? "You are fake news!"
Roses are red, violets are gray, I say this to you because you are gay.