Thomas

Roses are red, violets are blue, Thomas the train gets dropped by a b-52.

Rose

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

Harry Potter

Friend: I think you should stop watching Harry Potter.

Me: Are you Sirius? What is wrong with you?

  • 4
  • Memes

    Affen

    Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like a monkey, go back to the zoo! 😂

    Autobiografie

    Ich: Mama, soll ich die Hauptfigur in dem Buch, das ich schreibe, töten, um die Sache interessanter zu machen?

    Mama: Klar, mein Schatz! Was für ein Buch schreibst du denn?

    Ich: Es ist eine Autobiografie.

    Meer

    Wenn deine Mudda ins Meer springt und Wale kommen, singen diese "We are Family".

    Bee

    According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

    Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

    Snape

    Dumbledore und Snape.

    Snape: "Voldemort ist dort, ich weiß es..." Dumbledore: "Bist du Sirius?" Snape: "Nein, ich bin Snape!"

    Corona-Krise

    Pressekonferenz:

    Reporter: "Herr Präsident, was sind die Regeln nach dem Ende der Corona-Krise?"

    Trump: "Nach Corona gibt es keine Regeln mehr. Kauft eine 45 Magnum. Es wird der Wilde, Wilde Westen."

    Girl

    Harry: Girls are so hot.

    Hermine: Boys are so hot.

    Ginny: Why ist everybody so hot?

    Luna: Global Warming.

    Umbridge

    "Harry": I wanted to tell you something.

    "Umbridge": Go ahead.

    "Harry": Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw YOU.

    Aktie

    USA - Corona

    Reporter: "Sorry, Mr. President, we have too few masks."

    Trump: "I've already called ZORRO."

    Reporter: "Mr. President, what's your plan?"

    Trump: "The healthy immediately go to Area 51 and all shops are closed... After 4 weeks we return and normal life continues."

    Reporter: "What should people live on afterwards?"

    Trump: "So, I bought AMAZON shares."

    Corona Virus

    Reporter: “Mr. President, the people are depressed by the corona virus. What do you intend to do?”

    Trump: "We will treat the people with nitrous oxide!"