It's a beautiful day outside.

Flowers are blooming.

Birds are singing.

On days like these, kids like you should be burning in hell.

A reporter asks Trump during a press conference: "Lies and alternative facts are the same, isn't it?"

Trump: "I tell you no lies, you must see the alternative fucks."

Deine Mutter ist so fett, wenn sie mit den Blauwalen schwimmt, singen sie "We are family."

An umbrella and an apple are in the kitchen, eating their lunch box.

Then ask the umbrella: "Let us football play. You are the football."

Deine Mudda ist so fett, dass ein Wahl aus dem Meer springt und singt: "We are family, even though you are fatter then me!"

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