Die 60 besten New-Witze

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Bin new

Wieso verlieren die New Yorker immer im Schach?

Ihnen fehlen 2 Türme.

Der Film Titanic kam in Deutschland besser an als das Schiff in New York

Beim FBI in New York: "Chief, in welchem Gefängnis sitzt der Gefangene, der auspacken will?"

"Im Sing Sing."

Zu der derzetigen amerikanischen Politik ist nur eines zu sagen:

Orange is the new black.

Immer. Egal welche Klasse oder Alter. Es ist IMMER so

Wenn man einen test
schon geschrieben hat aber
die parallel Klasse noch nicht.
comparaci
LA RADIO
O
80-810
80-80
be
NEW
917.05.
416

Warum steht die Freiheitsstatue in New York? Weil sie sich nicht hinsetzen kann.

New York
PLE
ARAMBA
Peking
PLACE SWI
A CHARING CR
TRAFALGAR SQU
London
Bielefeld

Egal, wie new du bist. Isaac war Newton.

Der Held den wir alle hier brauchten...

Never has a man influenced physics so profoundly as Niels Bohr in the early 1900's.
Going back to this time period, little was known about atomic structure; Bohr set out
to end the obscurity of physics. However things didn't come easy for Bohr. He had to
give up most of his life for physics and research of many hypothesis. But, this is why
you and I have even heard of the quantum theory and atomic structures. Bohr came
up with his quantum theory while studying at Cambridge. Bohr was a skeptic and he
never truly believed in Max Planck's old quantum theory. He put forth the idea that,
going from one high-energy orbit o a lower one, an electron could, in fact, be trying
to emit a quantum of discrete energy. Bohr was criticized for this idea, but he didn't
let up. Soon after, Bohr said his famed quote,"If quantum mechanics hasn't shocked
you, you haven't understood it yet." This quote is extremely famous and has gone
down as the motto for quantum physicist around the world. Understandably, Bohr
never won a Nobel prize outside of physics (of which he only won one). Bohr's still
going strong with his theories on atomic structure; he allowed for 100's of scientists
to fully experiment with the cell and its many components. Bohr was largely on the
run from the Nazi's when he came up with this discovery, which is amazing because
around this time, Bohr's home country of Denmark was invaded by the Nazi's. Bohr
and Ernest Rutherford are given credit, but it is believed that Rutherford decided to
desert Bohr in the middle of their work. Rutherford once, quite famously said that
you should never bet against the wonders of science. Niels Bohr's famous career
never really kicked off until he was forty years old. Most other major scientists were
going all over the world with their ideas by their early twenties. However, in order
to preserve the legacy of Niels Bohr, he has his own institution, whose goal is to
make many more great strides in the field of physics for years. How did Bohr affect
you and me? Without Niels Bohrs' more advanced atomic theory, we might as well
cry over how little we know of the atoms and their compounds. Physics would have
never been such a force in the todays society. However, to this day, research is still
going on to improve and update the atomic theory. Although scientists clearly want
to improve on Bohr's theory, many famous physicists come out publicly and openly
say that Bohr's ideas will never be improved upon, todays society cannot say
goodbye to an opportunity to improve our understanding of the sciences. If Bohr
never had silenced his critics, we would still be following Planck's theories, and
going on incomplete information. Bohr's later life was all occupied when he decided
to go back to Denmark and head the Royal Danish Academy. His main goal was to
tell the world of the of the greatness of the Danish Sciences and most likely educate
a new crop of scientists for years to come. There is controversy surrounding Bohr's
lie during his stint in the Manhattan project. Though he claimed to be anti-violence
and a peace-seeker, Bohr engineered on the Manhattan Project. Though he didn't
hurt anyone directly, thousands of people died. Neils Bohr opened many doors for
you and I in the physics world, he will go down as one of the greatest physicists.

I bought a new car.
Everyone said get a red car
But I think blue looks better.

Fake-News Fake-News Fake-News: -------------------------------------------------------- Donald Trump negativ getestet -------------------------------------------------------- Fake-New Fake-News Fake-News

WHN I LAY DOWN
TO SLEEP AND SOMEONE ASK:
"ARE YOU GOING TO SLEEP?"
@exo_picsmemes
NO,IJUST DOWNLOADED A NEW
DREAM AND I WANT TO WATCH IT

Warum steht die Freiheitsstatur in New York . Antwort:weil sie nicht sitzen kann 🗽

Warum schaut Donald j. Trump nie aus dem Fenster nach unten im 38ten Stock des TRUMP TOWERS in New York? Weil sonst ein weisser Ritter auftaucht der immerzu schreit: "Trumpunzel, Trumpunzel, lass dein Haar herunter!"

Sehtest:

https://kuku-kube.com/

Was habt ihr? Ich habe den new high score gemacht xD War am ende wirklich schwer :)

Also, New York ist schlecht im Schach. Ich meine, sie haben 2 Türme verloren.

Ein New Yorker Anwalt, der einen wohlhabenden Kunstsammler vertritt, ruft seinen Klienten an und sagt: „Saul, ich habe gute Nachrichten und ich habe schlechte Nachrichten.“

Der Kunstsammler antwortet: „Ich habe einen schrecklichen Tag gehabt, lass mich zuerst die gute Nachricht hören.“

Der Anwalt sagt: „Nun, ich habe mich heute mit deiner Frau getroffen und sie informierte mich, dass sie 5000 Dollar in zwei Bilder investiert hat, von denen sie annimmt, dass sie mindestens 20 Millionen bringen werden. Damit könnte sie recht haben.“

Saul freut sich: „Spitze! Meine Frau ist brillant! Du hast gerade meinen Tag gerettet. Jetzt kann ich auch die schlechte Nachricht hören. Was ist es?“

Da sagt der Anwalt: „Auf den zwei Bildern bist du mit deiner Sekretärin zu sehen.“