Timer-Witze

Harry Potter Film

    • Other names for the Harry Potter movies:

    Harry Potter and the time I thought it was Snape.

    Harry Potter and the time I thought it was Draco.

    Harry Potter and the time I thought it was Sirius.

    Harry Potter and the time I thought it was Karkaroff.

    Harry Potter and the time everyone knew it was Umbridge.

    Harry Potter and the time it was actually Draco.

    Harry Potter and the time it was Dumbledore all along.

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    • Kashoot

    • I am young, but I know what to do! Time is running out to play Kashoot... Come make a difference, we can make it work. Lets make it happen now!

    Bitte ein Dislike und schreibt mir in die Kommentare, wenn es euch gefällt.

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    • Timer-Memes

    Geldbörse

    • Klaus zu Tim: "Guck mal, Papa hat seine Geldbörse da liegen gelassen. Soll ich uns paar Scheine rausnehmen?"

    Tim: "Klaus!"

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    • Finale

    • Dichtwettbewerb in Australien! Im Finale stehen ein Priester und ein Schafhirte. Beide bekommen die Aufgabe, innerhalb von fünf Minuten einen Vierzeiler zu dichten, in dem das Wort „Timbuktu“ vorkommt. Nach fünf Minuten Bedenkzeit tritt der Priester ans Mikrophon und trägt seinen Vers vor:

    "I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through On my way to Timbuktu."

    Donnernder Applaus. Das Publikum ist sich bereits sicher, dass der Priester gewonnen haben muss. Doch da tritt der Schafhirte vor und deklamiert:

    "Me and Tim, who is my friend, We met three ladies cheap to rent, They were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim booked two..."

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    • Lehrerin

    • Die Lehrerin zu Tim: "Sag mal Deinen Eltern Bescheid, ich möchte sie sprechen."

    "Warum?"

    "Sag Ihnen, es geht um das Thema Helikoptereltern."

    Tim kommt nach Hause und ruft: "Mama, Papa, die Lehrerin spinnt! Sie denkt, ich bin ein Hubschrauber."

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    • Mississippi

    • Two Italian men get on a bus...

    They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

    The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

    "Emma come first.

    Den I come.

    Den two asses come together.

    I come once-a-more.

    Two asses, they come together again.

    I come again and pee twice.

    Then I come one lasta time."

    "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.

    "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

    "Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

    "Who talkin' abouta sexa?

    I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

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