Know-Witze

You know you are German when...

... You went with your Laterne and your Laterne went with you.

... Du auf die Frage „Du you speak english?“ mit „See I so out?“ antwortest.

"Was bedeutet nochmal auf Deutsch 'I don't know'?"

"Ich weiß es nicht."

"Wen soll ich denn sonst fragen?"

"Ich weiß es doch."

"Na, dann sag es doch mal."

"Ich weiß es nicht."

"Hä, du hast doch gerade gesagt, dass du es weißt."

"Ich weiß es doch."

"Dann sag doch mal endlich."

"Ich weiß es nicht."

Großvater ist zu Besuch. Als er sein Enkelkind fragt: "Na mein Junge, was willst du denn mal werden?", antwortet dieser:

"yo opa, ich will influencer werden, mit drip und flex, die ganze welt mit meinen vibes checken. stell dir vor, ich drop content, der bussin' ist, und alle sind wie "sheesh, das ist der go.a.t.!" und ich nur so, am leben dieses bestie life, you know? das wär' lit!"

Opa schaut seinen Enkel völlig entgeistert an, zieht eine Augenbraue hoch und meint: "Junge, mach lieber was mit Internet, das hat Zukunft."

Karl fragt seinen Vater: "Was bedeutet eigentlich 'I don't know'?"

Der Vater antwortet: "Ich weiß nicht!"

Karl: "Schon okay, dann frag ich halt jemand anderen."

PRESSEKONFERENZ: ---------------------------------- Trump: " I know more about Corona-Viruses than anybody"

Reporter: " Sorry Sir, this isn`t syphilis.

Ein paar Witze für Game-of-Thrones-Fans: Warum läuft in den USA alles schief? Sie sind nördlich der Mauer. Was war Rickons Lieblingsband? One direction. Und seine Lieblingssendung? Arrow. Endlich! Es gibt ein Diner an der schwarzen Festung: "You know muffin, Jon Snow" Warum ist niemand in Winterfell Alzheimergefährdet? "The north remembers." How to win the Game of Thrones? It Varys! Was passiert, wenn man Harry Potter und GoT - Antagonisten kreuzt? Coldemort!

Dumbledore und Snape.

Snape: "Voldemort ist dort, ich weiß es..." Dumbledore: "Bist du Sirius?" Snape: "Nein, ich bin Snape."

They don't know that we know they know we know!

„Mama ich will ein Ballon!“ „I don't know, I don't understand what you're saying“

Piper: wer denkt ihr ist heißer? Percy oder Jason? Ich denke Jason.

Annabeth: Percy

Rachel: Percy

Reihna: Percy

Welt: Percy

Universum: Percy

Percy: I‘m sexy and I know it!

Nico: Percy

Percy:... Warte was?

A little Weihnachtsgedicht When the snow falls wunderbar, and the children happy are. When the Glatteis on the street, and we all a Glühwein need. Then you know, es ist soweit. she is here, the Weihnachtszeit.

Every Parkhaus is besetzt, weil die people fahren jetzt. All to Kaufhof, Mediamarkt, kriegen nearly Herzinfarkt. Shopping hirnverbrannte things, and the Christmasglocke rings.Mother in the kitchen bakes, Schoko-, Nuss- and Mandelkeks. Daddy in the Nebenraum, schmücks a Riesen-Weihnachtsbaum. He is hanging off the balls, then he from the Leiter falls.

Finaly the Kinderlein, to the Zimmer kommen rein. And it sings the family schauerlich: "Oh, Chistmastree!" And then jeder in the house, is packing the Geschenke aus.Mama finds unter the Tanne, eine brandnew Teflon-Pfanne. Papa gets a Schlips and Socken, everybody does frohlocken. President speaks in TV, all around is Harmonie. Bis mother in the kitchen runs, im Ofen burns the Weihnachtsgans. And so comes die Feuerwehr, with Tatü, tata daher. And they bring a long, long Schlauch, and a long, long Leiter auch. And they schrei - "Wasser marsch!", Christmas now is in the Eimer.

Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, Hear the music, see the lights, Frohe Weihnacht, Frohe Weihnacht, Merry Christmas allerseits!

Dancing is like sex. The first time you try you are nervous but its still the best thing youve ever tried. The more you do it the better it gets every time. As you do it with more people you get to know new teachniques. After a time youll learn to enjoy it.

So if you love sex you will like Dancing

Please give me a like. I hope you had a little bit fun while reading this. Thanks fpr enjoying it. 😍

Do you know the DUNKIRK-Triathlon? Rifle-Throw Beach-Run Channel-Swim

„Yo bro was heißt auf deutsch “i dont know“?“ „Keine Ahnung“ „Boah, ich dachte das weißt du...“

They say im young and know nothing about life, but when the earth suffer, we suffer on the same time. Lets make it happen now and save our planet!

Jesc 2019: Share the Joy Lyrics with singers Melani Garcia: I ́ve got these butterflies, my body keeps on holding, because they going wild when i ́m excited everyday.

Erin Mai: And i love every feeling, that life brings cause im living so free, yeah. I feel free.

Liza Misnikova: When Im dreaming yeah please dont ever wake me, because im living from the love given to me!

Jordan Anthony: Whether from my Mother, my sisters or my brothers. Feel free. So free!

Karina Ignatyan: When you ever need sombody, i got you. Maybe im young, but i know what to do!

Sophia Ivanko: Not every day the greatest, yes it is true, but when you put your mind to it, you get truth!

Refrain: Just wanna share, Share the joy, Share the joy! Share the joy!

Anna Kearney:Not every day the greatest, yes its true, but when you put your mind to it, you can do!

Refrain

Joana Almeida: It happen soon I feel it, there ́s honestly no secret. Trust me,yeah!,you see!

You can watch these great song at YouTube! Than write me a comment Thanks!

Writing jokes is like sex. The first time you try you are nervous but its still the best thing youve ever tried. The more you do it the better it gets every time. As you do it with more people you get to know new teachniques. After a time youll learn to enjoy it.

So if you love sex you will like writing jokes

....... is like sex. The first time you try you are nervous but its still the best thing youve ever tried. The more you do it the better it gets every time. As you do it with more people you get to know new teachniques. After a time youll learn to enjoy it.

So if you love sex you will like: ........

You know the desert? It sucks there! Because there are no trees!