Get

Get-Witze

Spiegelbild

    • Also ich gucke so rechts und links, wo zwei Spiegel aneinander waren. Mein eines Spiegelbild... Also ich habe so nach rechts geguckt, aber mein rechtes Spiegelbild hat meine Hinterseite gesehen, und eigentlich müsste das eigentlich die Vorderseite sein.

    Get out!

  • 0

    • Get

    • How are rape and airplanes similar?

    The rides get more annoying when the kids start screaming

  • 0

    • Land

    • English: German, how do you call this? *shows 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 flag*

    German: Hmm... that's the Land of the Schotten... so I'll call it Schottland!

    English: Okay. How do you call this? *shows 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 flag*

    German: Well, that's the land of the English guys, so I will call it England!

    English: Great! So how do you call this? *shows 🇫🇷 flag* Let me guess. Frankland? Because it's the land of the France guys, right?

    German: Well, it's not a land, it's a Reich! So it's Frankreich!

    English: *confused* Okay...? But how do you call this? *shows 🇮🇹 flag* Italiland?

    German: No, it's—

    English: Ahhh, I got it. Italireich!

    German: No. It's...

    English: WHAT? WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE?!!?

    German: It's... Italien.

    English: *gets Crashout*

  • 4

    • Zeitreise

    • I have a joke on timetravel, but you guys didn‘t like it, so I wanted to post a joke on dark matter, but you won‘t be able to see it. Unfortunately, my joke on black hole really sucks. I‘d also have a joke on quantum physics, but you wouldn‘t get it. So finally, I could offer a joke on Edison, but it is copied.

  • 3

    • Amerika

    • Trump und Harris telefonieren... H: "Wanna hear a joke?" T: "Fine." H: "America." T: "Uh... don‘t get it." H: "Exactly."

  • 0

    • Mississippi

    • Two Italian men get on a bus...

    They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

    The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

    "Emma come first.

    Den I come.

    Den two asses come together.

    I come once-a-more.

    Two asses, they come together again.

    I come again and pee twice.

    Then I come one lasta time."

    "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.

    "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

    "Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

    "Who talkin' abouta sexa?

    I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

  • 3

    • Ban

    • Jana an Weihnachten: "Last Christmas, I gave you annoyed." "And the very next day, I was banned." "This year, I'm making an account." "And then get banned again."

  • 8

    • Harry Kane

    • FC Bayern

    ...

    Harry Kane was the best Toiletten Mann of Autoraststätte München.

    Every Body comes to visit him rush

    and many Money gets in Harrys Cash.

  • 1

    • Autodiebstahl

    • Bei der Kontrolle.

    Polizist: „Papiere, bitte.“ Fahrer: (flüstert) „Kevin, wo ist die Karte?“ Kevin: „Hier.“ Polizist: „Ich habe nicht den ganzen Tag Zeit.“ Fahrer: „Get Reversed!“

    Am nächsten Tag in der Zeitung:

    „Paul S., 32, wurde aufgrund des Autodiebstahls und des Ausgebens als Beamter festgenommen."

  • 5

    • Fortnite

    • Alle Kinder spielen Fortnite, nur nicht Fritz, der hat den Fall Guys Battle Pass.

    "I just shit out my ash." Booted up my PC cause I need, need To get the Fall Guys Battle Pass.

    I like Fall Guys, did I mention Fall Guys? I like Fall Guys, it's nighttime.

  • 2

    • Kondom

    • My girlfriend said; "take the condom off."

    -

    "Why?"

    -

    "Because yolo"

    -

    "What does that mean?" I asked.

    -

    "You only live once"

    -

    "Well" I said, "if you get pregnant then yoyo."

    -

    "What's that mean?"

    -

    "You're on your own."

  • 1

    • Sex

    • ....... is like sex. The first time you try you are nervous but it's still the best thing you've ever tried. The more you do it the better it gets every time. As you do it with more people you get to know new techniques. After a time you'll learn to enjoy it.

    So if you love sex you will like: ........

  • 1